A Hero's Wife
by mozartmaid
Summary: What did Lois go through those three weeks in Dominion while Clark was stuck in the Phantom Zone? Disclaimer: Written for fun and not for profit. All characters belong to WB, some dialogue taken from Dominion, by John Chisholm


_A Hero's Wife_

It wasn't possible. Clark wouldn't leave her. He simply wouldn't.

Surely Tess had done this. This couldn't possibly be under Clark's orders. He wouldn't destroy the gate, his only way home. His only way back to her.

But what sacred Lois more, was the absolute honesty she saw in Tess. Gone were the usual subterfuges, the arrogance that as a rule, Tess generally wore. Deep down, Lois knew Tess was telling the truth, that Clark had decided they needed a back-up plan in case he couldn't find who had opened the gate. He had decided he would sacrifice himself in order to protect the world from a greater evil.

Even if it meant abandoning her.

Even if it meant that they would be separated forever.

Tess turned pleading eyes on Lois, and Lois could see that for once, Tess was being completely forthright with her.

And what was worse, Tess seemed to comprehend and accept Clark's sacrifice while Lois refused to purely for selfish reasons.

Lois didn't want to contemplate that she would be asked to sacrifice Clark so soon – before their life together had really even begun.

She simply denied that Tess was telling her the truth, afraid of believing that Clark would ask that of her – of them – so soon, and without even having said good-bye.

On instinct or desperation, Lois suddenly pulled the emergency handgun from under the desk and aimed it at Tess.

Tess had betrayed them before. Surely she was the one betraying them now.

But not Clark… never Clark.

_He wouldn't leave me without saying good-bye. Without giving me a chance to talk him out of it…_

But she knew, deep down, Clark wouldn't have let her talk him out of sacrificing himself, especially not if it meant saving the world. What angered her the most was that she knew she would have been selfish enough to try and stop him.

Tess spoke calmly, deliberately, her shocked green eyes meeting the pistol in Lois' hand. "I understand you love Clark, and that you'd do anything not to lose him."

"You bet I would," Lois said in a low voice, fear and anger vying for position in her heart.

"Lois, I don't want to give up on Clark either. I don't, but we have a responsibility to not put the world at risk for selfish reasons, which is what you're doing by wanting to see him again," Tess explained, finally understanding what it meant to do what was for the greater good.

Lois felt tears rising up, but she tried to hold her emotions in check. She did not want to seem weak in front of Tess, and she wouldn't back down. Not when her future with the man she loved was on the line. She had to stop Tess from destroying the gate. "I will not let you sacrifice him."

"Being with a hero, means accepting that hero's sacrifices."

Lois shook her head in denial, oddly thinking suddenly of her mother who had always stood behind the General no matter what. And Lois would be no different. "That's where you're wrong," she said, steely determination in her voice. "Being a hero's wife, means never accepting defeat."

Tess lifted her palms in a slightly surrendering gesture, seeing that Lois was pushed beyond reasoning. Lois was afraid, and Tess worried how that fear would manifest itself. She just hoped it wasn't a gunshot wound in her chest. "Lois, put the gun down. Please," she coaxed. " We'll find a way, okay? I promise… we'll get Clark back."

Her elbows hurting from the tension of holding the gun, Lois slowly lowered it, setting it on the desk. She was full of adrenaline, and her hand shook a little as she released the gun.

"I knew I'd get you to see things my way," Lois said coolly, though her heart still pounded in her chest.

Tess turned to the computer, her eyes glancing now and then to the gun on the desk and back to Lois. "I can't promise I can override the system. There are several back-ups in place, but I'll do what I can."

Lois came to stand behind Tess, watching over her shoulder as she typed some codes into the computer. "Do it, Tess. Find a way. I don't care how noble Clark think he's being by destroying the gate, he has to come back. He has to…"

Tess nodded reassuringly. "Ok, I stopped the clock. But it has an automatic restart if I can't override the shutdown command in the next ten minutes," she said, glancing at Lois. "Clark made sure the destruction of the gate would happen no matter what. He had me put in several security measures."

"I can't believe he didn't even tell me," Lois murmured in dismay, shaking her head. "I mean, of course I would have tried to talk him out of it, but to just step into that horrible place, not knowing if he'd come back—"

"Clark did what he thought he had to do, Lois." Tess hit another few keys. "Okay, that did it. The gate will not self-destruct. It can now only be destroyed manually."

Lois nodded in relief. She began pacing, her arms crossed as she thought. "Look, sorry for going all G.I. Jane on you. I just—"

Tess lifted a palm, gently silencing Lois. "Lois, you don't have to explain. I would have done the same thing, had the roles been reversed."

Lois' eyes darted to the computer screen, tears brimming in her eyes. "Let's just hope they get out of there…" she said, afraid of voicing her fear of what would happen if they didn't. "Have you tried the communicator again?"

"I have it on a loop to try every three minutes. So far, nothing. Anything could have happened to those communicators, Lois. Just because we can't reach Clark and Oliver, doesn't mean something has happened to them."

Lois nodded in agreement. "I know. I'd just feel a lot better if I could hear Clark's voice, or even if I knew he could hear mine. So he knows he's not alone in there, you know?"

"He's not, Lois. He has Oliver. They'll look out for each other."

Lois agreed, hoping that between the two of them, Clark and Oliver would make it back alive.

Suddenly, they heard a noise on the computer. It sounded like a muffled groan and people yelling in the background. It was only about two seconds long, but Lois honed in on the screen. "Did you hear that? The communicator! Try it again."

Tess did some fast typing and then spoke into the mic. "Clark? This is Watchtower. Can you hear me? Clark?"

Lois waited expectantly, her fists clenched at her sides, anxious. "Let me try," she said.

Tess gave her a helpless glance, but gestured to let Lois try.

"Clark? It's me, Lois. Can you hear me? Clark!" she cried, her voice growing more desperate with the respondent silence. "Clark!"

Lois stood at the mic for several minutes, every few seconds calling Clark's name and straining to listen for some kind of answer.

After a while, when it was clear their efforts were futile, Tess put a hand on Lois' shoulder. "It was just a fluke… we'll keep trying but—"

Lois turned anxious eyes on Tess. "Did what we hear get recorded? Maybe we can get some clue as to what is happening. We need to hear it again."

Tess nodded, the memory of Lois aiming a gun at her still fresh in her mind. She would do all she could to help Lois, if only so she'd feel like she was doing something. Even if Tess thought it was hopeless and knew that Clark and Oliver were on their own now.

Tess clicked a few keys, and set the volume levels high on the main computer. She hit play. It came out as jumbled noise, like there was some sort of struggle, and there was an audible grunt.

Lois, suddenly believing that they might have something, began to feel hopeful again. "Can you separate out the noises? Maybe we can know more about what is going on. How much danger they are in."

"Lois, I don't know what that will do, except make you worry even more," Tess warned, knowing how helpless they really were.

Lois glanced at the gun across the room, an unspoken threat that she'd reach for it again if pushed. "Look, if that's all we have, then that's what we work with. If that was Clark—" she swallowed hard, as if speaking her thought pained her. "If that was him, then I need to know what he said."

Tess nodded, taking a deep breath. "Didn't sound like much to me, but I can separate out the lows and the highs, and try to clean up any extraneous noise."

The first track played the highs. It clearly was the sound of a crowd jeering and taunting. Tess glanced at Lois, who was nervously biting her fingernail, something she rarely did anymore.

"OK, here's the other track."

It sounded like a sword or a knife, slicing through flesh, and the grunt of pain—

"Clark," Lois sobbed. "That was Clark, I know it."

"Lois, there's nothing you can do. You can't get to the Phantom Zone yourself. I'm sure, if there's a way, Clark will make it back."

Lois nodded, afraid to speak. All she could think was that Clark was without his powers, he was vulnerable, and at the very least, wounded.

"Play it again," she demanded.

"Lois—"

"Play it!"

Tess reluctantly complied.

At hearing the enhanced sound of Clark grunting with what sounded like a sword through flesh, Lois shook her head. "No, it can't end this way..." Then she turned again to Tess. "Check the three minute loop on the communicator. Anything?"

"No, we'd hear it if something came through."

Lois looked calculatingly at the equipment around them, her only fragile connection to Clark in that other world. "Teach me how to check it. How to replay any sounds that come through. I want to know everything about the gate, too. I want to know, because I will wait here until he comes back."

"Lois," Tess said carefully. "You have to prepare yourself for the chance that he won't make it back. You have to understand that."

Lois shook her head fiercely. "No. I won't give up on him, because he'd never give up on me."

~L&C~

Hours later, after Tess had shown Lois all she could on how to check all the possible outcomes with the communicator and how to rerun any sound that may come in, Lois was alone in Watchtower.

The sun was setting on the city, and sunlight was dancing through the stained glass. Despite her concerns and tears over the last few hours, the golden sunlight seemed to calm her just a bit.

She walked over to the large window, thinking of the day she had saved Clark's life, by pulling that blue kryptonite stake from his chest. And how, like the Egyptian god Rah, he had been reborn with the sun.

She had believed in the hero and the man that day, seeing them at last as one. Lois knew Clark would do all he could to make it out of the Phantom Zone. And no matter how badly he was hurt, he would be okay—but only if he made it back to Earth, where he could be healed by the rays of the yellow sun.

"You have to come back, Clark. I don't know how to go on without you," she whispered to the empty room.

Tess had brought her some Chinese food before she left for the evening, but Lois couldn't bring herself to eat. For the next hour, she instead obsessively checked the communicator, hoping that it had picked up some noise. Now and then she'd hear some static, and she'd play it over and over again on the larger computer, trying to enhance it to hear something more substantial, but every time she was disappointed.

Torturing herself, she played the one sound clip they had, of what sounded like Clark being wounded. She played out in her mind a million different scenarios about what could have happened, and how he could have survived. Only in her darkest moments did she wonder what would happen if he didn't…

She glanced at Watchtower's clock, and at the frozen countdown timer that was to have destroyed the gate. If she hadn't stopped Tess, the gate would have been destroyed by now, and Clark would have been lost to her forever.

She comforted herself with the fact that at least there was still some hope he could return, that the gate was still intact.

Just like the rays of the sun that healed Clark, the light in Watchtower seemed to light on that sliver of hope.

Somehow, he'd make it back to her.

He just had to.

~L&C~

Tess came in the next day, and found Lois half-asleep at the consol.

Lois started awake when she heard Tess approaching. "We have to keep trying, Tess… maybe they will get the communicators working again," she said sleepily, her hand reaching for the mouse that had almost grown attached to her hand during the night as she had checked and rechecked sound files.

"Lois," Tess chided gently, seeing what a mess Lois was. "Go home. For at least a few hours. Get some sleep, and a shower… We'll take turns at Watchtower, okay?"

"Home… what is home?" Lois said morosely. "My home is in some Kryptonian wasteland, Tess! I'm not going anywhere. Not until he comes back…"

"Lois, as a member of this team, I am ordering you out of here for a few hours," Tess said in a voice that brooked no argument. "You will be sharper once you've had some rest. If anything comes through, you know I'll call you. Just go home for a while… it will be all right."

Eventually, Lois reluctantly nodded, knowing she wasn't much use as worn out and upset as she was. "My head does feel a bit like a grease ball… I know I need a shower. Fine. We'll take shifts. I'll be back this afternoon, fresh as a daisy. And meanwhile, if _anything_ happens, even if you think it's minor, call me."

"I will. I promise."

~L&C~

The walk to the apartment was painful.

Her and Clark's new apartment.

Where they were to start their life together…

How was she to face going there, knowing that Clark wouldn't be there to greet her, may never—Lois refused to finish that thought.

He _had_ to come back to her.

When Lois arrived, she stood at the door for a long moment, her hand on the doorknob, unable to turn it, afraid of facing the empty apartment full of their future, alone.

Home.

This was to be their home… and yet, could it be if he didn't return?

_Smallville is my home, Clark. Not this one, this Smallville, right here. You're all I'll ever need._

Tears came to her eyes, knowing that she'd never feel home again until she could be wrapped in Clark's arms once more.

She looked around at the stacks of boxes, her eyes falling on her Whitesnake pillow that Clark had teased her about just yesterday.

_Don't worry. My "for better or worse" will include your love of hair metal._

Lois grabbed the pillow, pushing several boxes aside to sit cuddled with it on the couch. She thought all her tears had fallen the night before, but suddenly her cheeks were wet again.

"You have to come back, Smallville. You have to."

Lois cried herself to sleep, curled up amid the many boxes and waiting memories, snuggled close to her Whitesnake pillow.

~L&C~

When Lois awoke, she felt slightly disoriented, not yet used to the confines of the new apartment. For a short second, she almost forgot where she was, about Clark being trapped in the Phantom Zone. About the fact that she didn't know when or even if he'd return.

But as realization hit, she suddenly reached for her cell phone. Had Tess called while she slept? Had anything happened?

But no new messages or missed calls were on her cell phone. It was the same as it had been this morning. Clark and Oliver were still in the Phantom Zone.

Lois needed to get back to Watchtower as soon as she could. She dug through a box labeled "bathroom" and found a towel. Clark had bought toiletries from the drugstore yesterday morning, after Lois had sent him out with a list. She found the bag on the kitchen table, and felt a little lurch in her heart as she looked at the contents. He'd gotten everything she'd ask for down to the letter.

"You _are_ everything I've ever asked for, Smallville," she said sadly, pulling out the shampoo, soap, and shower poof. "Which is why you have to come back."

Lois took a shower and quickly got dressed, focusing on getting back to Watchtower as soon as she could. She thought she'd kill Tess if anything had happened while she was away that she hadn't told her about.

Before leaving the apartment, Lois glanced around at all the boxes. She knew that the only way she'd get through this was to believe that somehow Clark would return.

Smallville was her home.

And their new home would be waiting for him when he returned.

She'd start unpacking the first box tonight.

~L&C~

"Find anything while I was gone?" Lois asked, stepping into Watchtower with a little more confidence then when she had left.

"No, Lois. Unfortunately not."

Lois glanced at the computers, noting that nothing had changed since last night. "Tess, what are we going to do? I'm going to go crazy without having some way of trying to help them—"

"Well, I've contacted the rest of the League. We're going to video conference here in a minute and see what they say. Maybe they can go in after Clark and Oliver… but Lois, they will probably decide against it," Tess warned.

Lois nodded. "Well, let's see what they say first, okay? If there's a chance that we can go in after them, then we take it. We can't give up on them, Tess. _I _can't give up on them."

"I know, Lois. We won't."

Suddenly, the conference screens turned on. Lois and Tess headed to the small semi-circle of computers as the League checked in, one by one.

John Jones appeared, shortly after John Jones and Black Canary. Cyborg and Impuse checked in next, followed by Aquaman. They all seemed a bit surprised to see just Tess and Lois.

Tess quickly briefed them on what had happened in the Phantom Zone.

"Oliver followed Clark in. We lost communication with them shortly afterwards. The gate is still open, however, no one has ever gone to the Phantom Zone before without Clark. We don't know what will happen if we send one of you there."

Lois stepped forward. "Or if you could even find them. It's a vast wasteland… miles of desert…" She suddenly turned to Tess. "Send me," she said quietly, thinking the others wouldn't hear her. "I know what it's like there. I could go—"

"Lois, no."

It was John Jones who had spoken. "You know that Kal-El wouldn't want you there. Not when he is without his powers. Any one of us should go before you should."

Lois faced them all defiantly. "Why not me? If Clark can sacrifice himself, then so can I, to find him."

"And then what, Lois?" asked Tess, a bit of exasperation in her tone. "Even if you found him, you couldn't necessarily help him. Clark will come back if he can."

"It's too risky for any of us to go. And we need heroes here on Earth, in case the gate can't be closed," said John. "Kal-El would want us to stay put. We'll keep trying to reach them, but there is no reason for all of us to risk the Phantom Zone."

Lois backed down, seeing they were right. She wouldn't be able to help Clark even if she found him. But that didn't mean she'd give up.

"Then Tess and I will keep an eye on things from Watchtower. We'll continue to try and make contact with them."

Tess nodded. "But with Clark and Oliver gone, we'll need all of you to be more vigilant than ever."

"We'll do what we can to be sure Earth remains safe while Kal-El is away," said Aquaman.

One by one, the heroes signed off, leaving Tess and Lois with the task of once again trying to reach Clark and Oliver in the Phantom Zone.

"Was there really no sign of them last night, Tess?" Lois asked pensively, heading back to the monitor where they had been trying to reconnect the communicators.

"No. But it doesn't mean that they won't make it, Lois. Look, I won't give up if you won't. We'll do what we said, take turns monitoring the communicators."

Lois nodded decisively. "Right."

Tess started gathering her things. "That means you are in charge until tomorrow. I can make excuses for you at the Planet, but I have to show my face for at least part of the day."

"I understand. We'll split shifts. And on the weekend—" Lois paused, realizing it was only Tuesday. How long would they have to wait before Clark and Oliver returned? It didn't matter, she realized. She'd wait for Clark forever if she had to. "On the weekend we'll both camp out."

Tess dipped her head in assent. "I admire your determination, Lois. You know, I think I was wrong about you when we met."

Lois smiled, her first since she had learned Clark had run off to the Phantom Zone. "Thanks. Back at ya."

"Well, I admit I haven't always played fair, or even always on the right side. But I always tried to," she admitted, the small jut of her chin showing an air of defiance. "But Ollie…" Tess started, but couldn't seem to finish.

"Means something to you," Lois filled in for her.

Tess nodded. "I mean, I know we haven't meant anything to each other for a long time, and I'm happy for him and Chloe—but yeah, I'd do whatever I can for him."

"Then that just means we won't give up."

~L&C~

Moments after Tess left, Lois dug out what she had deemed her survival kit: slippers, a six pack of beer, a picture of her and Clark, and her Whitesnake pillow.

Normally she would have brought along a Whitesnake CD, but she didn't want to risk missing anything coming through on the communicator. Besides, the pillow made her think of Clark, and it gave her something to hold that he had recently touched. Oddly, she felt like it was a tether to him, proof that he was still alive.

Lois ran through all the files Tess had accumulated since early that morning. There were only a few with anything to listen to, mostly full of static, but nothing as substantial as that horrible clip of what Lois was convinced was Clark getting wounded.

She refused to think the worst.

He was still alive. And he'd come back to her.

She had to hold onto that, or she'd go crazy.

Lois connected their communicator to the monitor, hoping against hope that she'd somehow connect to Clark or Oliver.

"Clark? Come in. This is –Lois…" she finished with surprising sincerity, first thinking she'd try to say she was Watchtower, but in the moment needing to reach out to that infinite space as herself. "Anybody listening?"

She waited… and waited.

Nothing. No static, not even a blip.

She knew how impossibly far and otherworldly the Phantom Zone was. It had been a miracle that they had had a connection at all.

But that didn't stop her from wanting that connection again.

After a while, Lois opened a beer and began humming some Whitesnake to pass the time. Anytime she thought she heard a noise, she'd jump in her seat and replay the last looped recording.

Around midnight, and after about four beers, she had an intriguing thought. What if Clark could hear her, but just couldn't respond himself?

Her heart lightened at the idea. She connected into the communicator, watching the screen for any indication of a response as she began to talk.

"Clark… if you can hear me-well, I just want to say I miss you," she shook her head, realizing that she wanted to say more. _Needed_ to say more. "No, it's more than that. I miss _us,_ what we've become together… You know, I think back on those years at the farm. How blind I had been. Not just to your abilities, but to you. I ignored you for as long as I could, you know? I mean, I always thought you were good-looking, but so many of those good-looking guys I had fallen for before had always turned into disasters… and besides, I never thought I could compete with Lana."

She scoffed at herself, taking another sip of beer. "I know, it's funny now. But I was intimidated by her for a long time… and you, well, I guess I just never thought that you and I could ever be more…"

She felt tears well up in her eyes, and hugged the Whitesnake pillow tighter. "But when I started falling for you… you know it took me by surprise, right? It happened even before I knew it. But the first time I acknowledged it was at Chloe's wedding when we almost kissed. And I—I felt like such a fool when Lana reappeared. Anyway, enough about her… I just—well, it's ancient history now, right?"

Lois put her slippered feet up on the consol, keeping an eye on the screen for any kind of response.

"And then when you came into the picture as the Blur… wow, looking back, I really think I was stupid for not putting it all together sooner. Some reporter I am, right?" She smiled. "I know what you'd say: 'You're a great reporter, Lois.' …And you'd be right, of course."

She was quiet for a moment, contemplative. "Did I ever tell you what it meant to me, the moment you actually told me your secret? I had known for a while, as you now know, but in that moment—Clark, I thought my heart would break if you didn't say something. I remember heading to the elevator, feeling as if you would be lost to me forever, separated as we were by your secret. And then—a miracle. You told me and I _knew_ that we'd be okay. That we'd somehow figure out how to move forward together, no matter what came our way—even, through things like this…"

Lois opened another beer, staring at the screen until she could see her own reflection in it. "Bottoms up," she said, waving the beer towards her reflection. "We'll make it through, Clark. I have to believe that you will return. I can't think of any other possibility, you see? I won't give up on us – on _you . _I just wish – or maybe I hope that you are listening to this. And that somehow it's giving you the courage to continue and to find a way back to me, Smallville… because my only home is with you. Be it Kryptonian desert or the farm or our sweet little apartment in Metropolis… " Lois looked around at the empty and quiet solitude of Watchtower, imagining her days here—without Clark. "But the truth is, it will only be a home if you're there… Smallville…"

She felt tears roll down her cheeks. "I miss you," she whispered, just wishing there was some sign, some ray of hope that could tell her that Clark was still alive. If only there was another anomaly from the communicator, some indication that her vigilance wasn't in vain.

But Lois wouldn't give up. Not without concrete proof that Clark was gone forever.

She wouldn't give up, even if only the smallest ray of hope shimmered.

She couldn't.

~L&C~

After a few days of vigilant rounds shared between her and Tess, Lois went to the Planet for a few hours, trying to concentrate on something other than trying to reach Clark.

Tess told her it would do her some good to get out of Watchtower, to try to focus on something else. Lois thought what Tess was really saying was that they should give up, or at least prepare themselves for the idea that eventually they might have to give up.

Lois wouldn't give up on Clark, but she agreed that a break at the Planet might do her some good.

Except not a single story was able to hold her interest.

There were no big fish to fry at the moment.

Ray Sacks, the corrupt DA, was in prison, along with Bruno Mannheim.

Toy Man was taken care of.

Along with a long list of others… mostly thanks to the Blur.

For a moment, Lois was chilled at the thought of not only what would happen to her if Clark never returned, but to the city. Metropolis was beginning to depend on the Blur, and his absence could start a surge of crime…

Lois quickly pushed that dark thought away. She had to believe they'd find their way back…

Clark was a part of her. Part of her work life, part of her home life – part of her heart.

Simply put, she wasn't whole without him.

_Enough. I have to get out of here._

Lois shut down her computer and headed out of the bullpen. She didn't want to head back to Watchtower, knowing that Tess would just lecture her on needing to get away. But she did have a whole apartment full of boxes that needed unpacking.

Because Clark _would_ come back.

And he'd have a home, ready and waiting for him.

Motivated now with a way to focus her energy, Lois left the Planet to go back to the apartment.

Once there, she blasted some Whitesnake, and looked around for the first box she'd tackle. She thought it would be an easy decision. Just dig in. But should she start with her stuff or Clark's?

If she started with her things, then the apartment would start to feel like hers, but truly absent of Clark. That thought scared her enough that she decided to start with a box of Clark's things, even if it was a bit painful. She knew that seeing his things around the place would help to keep his presence around her, and would give her strength.

'_Part of us merging our lives together is taking the time to find the right spot for everything,'_ Lois remembered saying.

Her heart clenched in bittersweet memory at the thought of Clark's response, _'All I know is my perfect spot is here with you.'_

"Then find a way back to me, Smallville," she mumbled to herself with a sigh, taking his box of books over to the bookshelf.

She began setting them up, not recognizing half the titles, thinking they must have sat on the shelves of the barn since he was a kid. Their dusty covers certainly would attest to that. She took a cloth and lovingly dusted the books off before organizing them on the new shelf. Towards the bottom of the box, she came across Clark's Tom Sawyer book, the one that held the key to the Fortress.

"Jor-El," she said aloud, as an idea came to her. "He created that death trap. Maybe he has some answers."

Unpacking suddenly forgotten, Lois grabbed her car keys and popped out the Whitesnake CD to take with her to listen to in the car.

She now had a mission.

~L&C~

Lois had been tempted to break speed limits on the way out of the city, getting more excited by the moment at the thought of talking to Jor-El. She was convinced he'd be able to tell her at least if Clark was all right, and hopefully, would even have a way for him to get back to Earth.

It was almost 5 by the time she made it to the Kawatche caves. She had an hour before she was supposed to be back at Watchtower, and she wasn't sure if she'd make it.

She sent a text to Tess before heading into the caves, knowing that if she called, Tess would tell her not to mess with the Fortress.

"Going to Jor-El, hoping for answers. Be back ASAP."

Having faced Jor-El several times now, Lois was less nervous about this foray into the ice castle than previous ones. Still, she got a thrill of fear as she dropped in the transportation disc, and suddenly felt the unearthly light of the Fortress appear all around her.

Within moments, she was standing in the ice cave. Every time she went, she seemed to forget how cold it was there, and despite her parka, she was shivering.

"Jor-El?" she called to the hallow structure around her. "It's Lois Lane. I'm her about Cl—Kal-El."

The Fortress seemed silent for a long time, and Lois wondered if Clark's dad was being temperamental or perhaps was somehow affected by Clark being on another plane of existence.

"Jor-El? Please, answer me! Is Kal-El okay? Is he—alive?" she cried out a bit desperately to the alien crystalline walls, the cold wind howling through its spires.

"Kal-El is in the Phantom Zone," echoed a voice finally, from above her somewhere.

"I could have told you that," she murmured.

"What is it you wish of me, Lois Lane?"

"I need to know if Kal-El is all right. Is he alive?" she cried, her fears reverberating in the crystals around her.

Again, Jor-El was silent for a long moment. "Kal-El lives."

Lois released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Knowing that Clark was alive was almost enough. "Can you bring him back?"

"The blood of the House of El will return Kal-El to Earth. He seeks the crystal."

"Can you see him?" Lois asked incredulously, wondering how Jor-El knew this.

"No, but I can know what is off-balance. The crystal is not where it should be. Kal-El must be looking for it, and that is why he has not returned."

Lois smiled, hope pouring through her. "Then everything might be all right?"

"Only if Kal-El finds the crystal. He needs it to return to Earth. Without it, he is doomed to remain in the Phantom Zone."

"He will find it. I have faith in him."

"Indeed you do, Lois Lane. Kal-El has a greater destiny and do what he can to return back to Earth."

"I'm counting on it," Lois said quietly, wondering what her role in his destiny could be. Would her love be enough, would she matter enough to bring Clark back to Earth?

He had left without telling her of his plan, making her feel less than part of the team. Would he care if he knew what his absence was doing to her?

"You too have a role to play in Kal-El's life," Jor-El added, and Lois wondered if the alien computer could somehow read her thoughts.

"But will I hold him back?" she said after a moment, voicing her greatest fear.

"Only if you do not stand by his side. That decision you have to make together."

That cryptic statement sent chills through Lois. Clark had left her behind, he hadn't let her stand with him. Yet, another memory tugged at her heart, giving her some comfort. Before she had understood who Clark really was, the Helmet of Nabu had said, "You are the one he will need. He is the one you will need. The savior, the one who will heal us all. The sentient power."

She already knew she needed him.

_You are the one he will need._

She had to trust that he needed her too.

She knew Clark had a great destiny – and she had to believe that she would be a part of it.

~L&C~

"Lois, I needed to be at the Planet an hour ago! What were you doing, going to the Fortress?" Tess chastened Lois as soon as she stepped into Watchtower.

"I had to go, Tess. Jor-El said that Clark is alive. That's all that matters. And he will make his way back, I know he will."

Momentarily surprised by this news, Tess stared at Lois a moment before asking, "Then why are they still there?"

"Some crystal that Clark needs in order to return is missing. Jor-El said he is looking for it."

"Well, that's good news, I suppose… but that still doesn't tell us anything about Oliver," Tess said grimly.

"Look, we know our heroes, don't we? I'm sure they're doing everything they can to look after each other. We just need to have a little faith."

"It sure seems the trip to the ice fortress did you quite a lot of good then," Tess noted with just a hint of her old sarcasm.

Lois just smiled back, "Absolutely. If Jor-El says Clark is okay, then I can trust it. It's not a matter of if he'll be back, it's a matter of when."

"And just how long are you willing to wait, Lois?" Tess couldn't seem to resist asking.

Lois glared at her. "Don't push me. You know the answer to that."

"Fine. Watchtower's all yours, anytime day or night," Tess conceded. "But I need you to try and come back to work, at least part of the day."

"Does that mean you admit I'm a valuable asset to the Planet?" Lois grinned.

Tess rolled her eyes, "Yes. Are you happy? Cat Grant won't do the nitty gritty work that needs to get done sometimes," Tess admitted. "All's quiet on the front for now, but Lois, you know as much as I do that with Oliver and Clark gone, it won't be long before the criminal element tries to take advantage."

Lois nodded, setting out her survival bag as she prepared to camp out for the evening in front of the monitor. "I know… I realized that too. I'm actually a little worried about how quiet it's been… there wasn't a story to be had this afternoon."

Tess agreed grimly. "I hate to say it, but Metropolis isn't Metropolis without crime. We'll conference with the Team tomorrow, and see what they say."

"And in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, we try to reach Clark and Oliver. We stay vigilant, and we keep it a secret that they're missing."

~L&C~

Over the next several days, Lois and Tess established a routine where Lois stayed in Watchtower overnight, Tess took over in the morning, and Lois spent a few hours at the Planet in the afternoon.

Lois found a story about a CEO who was involved in some sex scandal, but she only worked on it to distract herself from the empty desk in the bullpen.

Staff had started asking about Clark Kent, and Tess had said to say he was on assignment somewhere.

But it didn't stop Lois from imagining her life going on like this, without Clark…

How long until he came back?

Weeks?

Months?

Years?

It had already been almost ten days, and there was hardly a sign of him. They still got some random feedback from the communicators, which would always bring a surge of hope, but nothing that indicated speech or gave any proof at all that they were still alive and trying to come home.

Lois just simply had to trust in Jor-El, that Clark was alive and that he'd do everything in his power to come back.

Lois just hoped that it would be soon…

~L&C~

In the evenings, during the few hours before Lois would head back to Watchtower at midnight, Lois started the sometimes-painful task of unpacking.

At first, she had thought that she'd just unpack a few boxes, wanting to honor her idea that they should work out together where everything should go. But after the utilitarian things were unpacked, she needed something to do, and the other boxes kept staring at her…

Eventually, she started in with the more personal boxes. She alternated, and did one of hers and one of Clark's each night. She considered unpacking her boxes the warm-up, easy memories that she could handle. Then she would have one beer, and tackle Clark's boxes. Each of which seemed to hold something that would bring tears to her eyes…

His high school letterman jacket.

His family photo album.

His astronomy books.

So, she started talking to him, aloud. She knew it was silly, but it helped get her through. She'd ask him about where he'd want something, and then joke when she knew he'd want it somewhere else. She'd share the secrets of her heart with him, like how much it had meant to her how his family had welcomed her into the Kent household so long ago.

She reminisced about their past, and mused about their future.

She imagined him coming back any day, and worried that she'd be an old woman by the time he returned.

She pondered growing old with him and having children.

She saw herself holding onto his memories no matter what, and him appearing a year from now.

…or ten years from now.

She laughed at unpacking his Elmer Fudd night light, and imagined how it would bring comfort to their child, if they ever have one.

She played the mixed Whitesnake CD she had made for him while under red kryptonite, and she sang every word, telling Clark in between headbanging and tears how much she loved and missed him.

After a few hours of unpacking, soul-searching and heartbreak, she'd grab the Whitesnake pillow and her favorite picture of her and Clark. She'd look around at the progress she'd made unpacking, and feel a tiny bit better. And always as she turned out the lights and locked the door, she'd whisper earnestly to the apartment.

"See you tomorrow, Smallville."

~L&C~

The planner called her at work, four days before the wedding.

The wedding.

How could she have forgotten the wedding?

"Hello, Miss Lane. We haven't heard from you in over two weeks. Is everything still on as planned?"

Lois felt frozen in her desk, the reality of a missing groom slamming her in the chest. If she cancelled the wedding, it would mean admitting that Clark wasn't returning. It would be admitting defeat.

And postponing indefinitely? Wasn't that tantamount to the same thing?

"Miss Lane?" the organizer prodded.

"Uh, sorry. Yes. Yes, everything is on as scheduled… sorry, just been so—um, hectic, you know? Yes, the wedding is on," she said firmly, feeling her heart clench in her chest. _He has to come back_.

"Great!" The planner went on, listing a bunch of final arrangements like when the flowers would arrive at the church, and details about catering and pictures.

Lois let tears silently fall as the planner went on, not really listening. She just held onto that one thought over and over—_He has to come back._

"Miss Lane? Are you listening?"

Lois wiped her cheek and cleared her throat. "Yes, sorry. I'm here."

"Good. Okay, you have my number. Let me know if you have any last minute questions. We'll see you on the big day!"

"Thanks."

Lois hung up the phone, absently wandering over to her new window that had a view overlooking the city. She could spot Watchtower across the way.

She thought of the many sleepless nights she had spent, waiting for Clark, hoping for any sign of him…

She thought of the apartment that was nearly unpacked now. Full of Clark and yet completely empty of him…

Was she being foolish? Should she have cancelled or at the very least delayed the wedding?

"I can't," she whispered fiercely. Perhaps to Clark or perhaps to whatever greater power out there that might be listening. "I have to believe that he'll be back… Clark and I will get married on Sunday. He has to come back…"

~L&C~

The last straw came two days later when she picked up her wedding dress with its final alterations.

She had held on, plastering a smile on as the dress tailor wished her luck and congratulated her on her big day. Lois held it together even in the car, the dress swinging happily on its hook in the back seat, not knowing that its fate was so uncertain.

She made it into the apartment, even into their bedroom, where she hung the dress on the door of her closet.

It wasn't until she was getting ready for bed, to sleep for at least a few hours before she would head back into Watchtower like she had every night for the last three weeks, that it hit her. It wasn't until she was brushing her teeth and she accidentally knocked her hand into Clark's toothbrush that she lost it.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She spit out the toothpaste and went to his closet, needing something to wear that would make her feel close to him, to believe he would come back to her.

God, how she wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her.

She needed to tuck her head into the crook of his neck, into that place where she just fit perfectly into his embrace.

Hot tears were streaming now, and she let them fall, frustrated and angry. Angry, because he had done this to her, had not told her what he had been planning.

Hurt that even after all they had been through, he hadn't seen it fit to tell her what was going on. He had left her, completely alone without a word of explanation.

But if she could see him again—she knew she'd forgive it all.

She spotted a blue and white flannel shirt and she laughed a little through her tears. She hated those flannel shirts of his, yet they were such a part of him. They represented his life on the farm, the goodness of the Kents, the honesty of hard work. Feeling slightly foolish, she took it off the hanger and breathed in its scent deeply, hoping to catch a whiff of whatever it was that was Clark…

She shed her t-shirt and put on his flannel instead, hugging herself through the tears, not caring how silly she seemed.

"Clark… you have to come back," she said brokenly.

She spotted one last box in the living room. She had meant to open it last night, but hadn't the courage, thinking that opening that last box would signify the end of something. That maybe it would mean she'd have to give up, that maybe Clark wasn't returning or simply couldn't.

But there was something else in the box that she knew would give her comfort. She walked over to it, and dug out Old Blue, the Russian glass bird that her mother had given her.

Lois' own words suddenly came back to her. _"Being a hero's wife, means never accepting defeat."_ She wasn't defeated. This separation wouldn't defeat them. She had to believe that somehow, someway, Clark would return to her.

That miraculously, he'd somehow return before the wedding.

Her mother wouldn't have given up, and neither would Lois.

Lois took Old Blue to put it by the window, where it could look out… and be the symbol of hope that she needed.

As Lois set the bird on the table, suddenly, she felt his presence. She had imagined it so many times over the last few days, that when she turned, she thought it was a ghost, and not really him.

But it was him. She drank in the sight of him, from his smooth dark hair and soulful green-blue eyes, to his broad shoulders that she had been longing to lean on, to his simple solid presence that had always been a comfort to her. He was home. Clark had returned.

She ran to him, desperate to feel him in her arms once more, a sigh of relief on her lips as she pulled him closer. "I knew you'd make it."

"I told you I would."

She wasn't sure if she meant that he'd make it back from the Zone or back in time for the wedding. But it didn't matter. He was _here_. She could feel him, embrace him, breathe him in and know he was safe.

_Home._

Clark pulled out of the embrace, looking around the apartment. "But what happened to taking the time to merge our lives together? Finding the right place for everything?" he said lightly.

He just didn't know what she had gone through… Unpacking had been the only thing that kept her sane, that kept her believing that he would return.

She tried to be flippant about it, now that her concerns seemed inconsequential, now that he was back. "Oh, um, waiting has never been my strong suit. I guess nervous energy equals power in unpacking?" she said anxiously, wondering if he'd see through her light banter to the painful process their separation had been.

"What did you do? Enlist John Jones and Bart?" Clark said with a warm laugh, teasing her in that way that she had so missed. "There's no way you could have—" he suddenly stopped as he really looked around, his face becoming serious as he saw the truth of his absence in her eyes. "How long were we gone?"

Lois felt the tears well up again, recalling every moment, every agonizing glimmer of hope and shadow of sorrow of the last three weeks. The endless nights at Watchtower, and the unbearable days without him at the Planet. "Three weeks," she said weakly.

Clark shook his head, incredulous. "We were only in there a few hours. The crystal—crushing it must have altered time," he conjectured. His eyes met hers, and she thought he knew, he could feel what she had gone through. "So a few hours for me was almost a month for you," he said gently, beginning to understand.

Lois nodded, unable to trust herself to speak.

His voice was full of admiration and love. "You waited all that time."

"Well the League decided that it wasn't safe to send any more people in after you, so Tess and I took turns, camping out at Watchtower, trying to reestablish contact with you and Oliver," she explained.

She saw him glance at her Whitesnake pillow and she felt a little embarrassed. "I uh, brought the pillow with me for down time, cause, uh well- it reminds me of you now. Silly, huh?"

"After three hours, Tess was supposed to—"

"Blow up the gate," Lois whispered, unable to hold back her tears any longer. "Yeah. Tess and I had a little unexpected heart to heart about your secret plan. I brought her round to seeing things my way," she said quietly, remembering her desperation in those moments. She remembered too how hurt she had been to learn that Clark hadn't trusted her with his plan. " I just—I wish you could have had a little faith in me, too. "

"Lois, I didn't want you to have to make that kind of choice. I was trying to—"

"Protect me?" she said brokenly, choked by tears. She understood his deep-seeded need to protect her, but could he see the cost of that when he took it too far? Did he know that his protection had nearly killed her, as she had agonized over every second he had been gone? She had to make him understand. "I know. But you're part of me now, Clark. Half of a whole. So in the future, if there's even a chance that the mission might claim my better half, sign me up," she said simply and bravely. "Because I'd rather be in some sand-blown purgatory then in the hell of not knowing if I'll ever see you again."

He reached for her, gently offering her comfort with his hand on her shoulder. "Lois, I'm so sorry. I try to make choices using my human side, but sometimes my Kryptonian side takes over. I try to control the situation," he explained. "Instead of hiding that side, I should try to help you understand it."

The tears and the pain were still there. She thought of Jor-El and Clark's destiny, and she wondered if she would always be a secondary consideration.

"Clark, I need to know that you trust me. I can't be left behind like that again."

He pulled her into his embrace, "Lois, I'm sorry. You're right. We are a team, two halves of a whole now. I trust you to know things about me that I can't always see – and you can't always know those things if I hide the truth from you. I promise to always tell you the situation, Lois, to always include you in my plans."

Lois smiled, relieved that he at last understood and that he was finally returned to her. Now, they could look safely towards the future. "Promise to put that in your wedding vows?"

"The wedding," he echoed, realizing how much time had really passed.

"Yeah, t-minus two days, Smallville," she whispered, barely getting out his name as she choked on the feelings in her heart.

"You didn't postpone it," Clark said in surprise.

"No," she answered, reaching to cup his face in her hands. "I couldn't," she said fiercely, knowing how close she had come to doubting he'd return, and yet still always holding firm. "Believing that you would come back to me was the only thing that kept me going. But if you want to postpone- it's fine," she offered generously, as just having him back was enough.

His hand came up to caress her cheek, "Lois, there's nothing in this world that can prevent me from walking down that aisle. "

She smiled and he pulled her into a hug, holding her in that perfect embrace of his as she let the tears fall freely on his shoulder, taking comfort in being in his embrace once more.

But it wasn't enough. She needed him, she needed to be as close as she could be to him, to make up for the lost time and hell of having him lost in that Phantom Zone.

When her tears subsided, she pulled slightly back from his embrace to look in his eyes. She caressed his beloved face, eventually whispering, "I missed you."

"Lois, knowing that you were waiting for me, even through those few hours, helped get me through. If I had known how long—" he swallowed, his jaw clenched with emotion. "I'm so sorry to have done that to you."

"Well, maybe it's time we kiss and made up?" she said softly, her hand resting on his chest as she looked up at him through her lashes.

Clark gently lifted her chin, his eyes meeting hers. "We've got the rest of our lives to do just that," he said sweetly, leaning in at last to kiss her.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he suddenly lifted her in his arms.

"Welcome home," she whispered, relishing the feel of his muscled arms around her back and legs.

"I am home. You're my home, Lois," he said sincerely, his voice gruff with emotion.

He carried her into their bedroom, that she had so carefully and lovingly decorated. As they turned the corner, she spotted Old Blue, her symbol of hope, and she smiled.

She had believed.

Through it all, through the doubts and the uncertainties, she had believed he'd find his way back to her, and he had.

She would never give up on Clark, just as he'd never give up on her.

Like her mother, she proved that she too could be a hero's wife.

Her soldier was home.

~The End~


End file.
